Mature Dating Apps are coming of age | #dating #onlinedating #datingapp #maturedating

Online dating apps are becoming more and more popular with the over-50’s.

The idea of a dating app which is age-restricted is becoming increasingly appealing in this world of more choice. There are more options than ever before to meet new people, but these days it’s more commonly done online, rather than meeting someone when you’re out and about.

Getting your life-work balance right is crucial as our lives can be tiring snd stressful at times. When you’ve come home after a hard day at work, its convenient and easy to go online in your own time and search for people to date, all from the comfort of your own sofa

You don’t have to splash out loads of money getting to know someone initially over drinks or dinner. You also don’t have to waste your time and energy getting yourself ready, arranging a venue to meet your date, travelling to meet them, getting to know them, then travelling home again, all to realise that you don’t click with that person. These days, you can find out a lot about someome online and figure out quite quickly if you like someone or not. It’s also good for your mental health to talk to other people about the day you’ve had and about your life in general.

Of course, life – and love are not perfect. Even if you feel as though you know someone well, after chatting together online for a while and you’ve agreed to meet up in person, there’s still no guarantee that you’ll click.

One such dating app specifically designed for the over-50’s is Lumen. It’s just one player in a growing market for mature daters.

Many over-50’s looking for love or companionship will have had one or more relationships in their life and it’s likely that many will have been married previously, had long term relationships and/or have children who are now older. They may be divorced or widowed and it’s likely that the world of online dating is completely new to them. They may not know how to use an app and this is why dating app designers have done so much research to make their apps more user-friendly and easier for people to navigate their way around.

For more advice about online dating, you can read my book, Love At First Swipe, which provides further infirmation and great tips about online dating.


Why Good “Communication” and Creating a Good “First Impression” are so important | #communication #goodcommunication #firstimpression #firstimpressions #business #customerservice #loveatfirstswipe

I have worked in the international relocation industry for 20 years, moving people and shipping their effects around the world. In dealing with many different customers on a daily basis, I can assure you that good Communication is absolutely key. This is not just true in the relocation industry, but is true for any industry you work in and in everything you do in your day-to-day life, including online dating, for example

I also had a book published last year called “Love At First Swipe“, which is a comprehensive guide to online dating. What I found fascinating was the many similarities between the world of online dating and the relocation industry.

With the advances in technology, it has made the world a smaller place, but the internet has also created many more options and opportunities for everyone, whether you are looking for a quote to move house, getting a quote for a tradesman service, searching for a new job, or looking for love online. You can speak to any person, at any time – and from any place, whether it be from the comfort of your own sofa, or from a sunny beach in the Caribbean!

However, more choice can also confuse people and can be overwhelming, so its really important to communicate effectively and get the right message across. This same theory applies whether you are looking for love, or whether you are speaking to a customer.

It is also very important to create a good First Impression. You only get one chance to make a good first impression. Not only will you be judged on your appearance, but also on your attitude, the way you talk, your body language and your personality as well.

A first impression is made within the first seven seconds of talking to, or of meeting someone new. When looking for love and you meet someone for the first time, your date will be making a rapid inventory of your build, smell, height, smile, eye contact, handshake, kiss, confidence and how you present yourself. You will also be making your own inventory of them. The same is true when you go for a job interview, or when you meet a customer for the first time.

Often, however, a first impression is made on the phone, so it’s important to come across well, as you are ultimately looking to build up a relationship with that person, whether it be for love, or whether it be for business.

Just as your main photo is the most crucial photo and most important piece of information that you would upload onto an online dating profile, the front page of your company’s website is also crucial, as are the keywords which are put on your website. For an online dating profile, your main photo should say as much about your personality as it does about your face. The same reasoning can be applied to your company’s website. You don’t want people swiping left on your profile, or people not clicking onto your website link.

We now live in a world where people mainly communicate by e-mail, text, WhatsApp and Social Media, rather than by talking to someone on the phone, or by speaking to someone face-to-face. Computers and smartphones have replaced handwritten communication, phone calls and simple verbal communication. Even if people are working in the same office, they often don’t have the confidence, time, or willingness to get up and talk to someone face-to-face.

Socially, people have been done a great disservice with companies stressing technical skills development over interpersonal skills development, under the “ageis” of education.

A recent survey showed that the most effective communication was carried out in person, followed by video call, then by phone call and lastly, by e-mail. This tells us that e-mail is the worst way to influence. With face-to-face meetings or a Skype call, you can pick up on someone’s tone of voice and their body language. By phone, you still get their tone of voice, but it’s interesting to know that even your body language gets communicated by your tone of voice!

Many Customer Service teams are trained to smile when they talk to a customer on the phone. Why? Because when we smile, the shape of our mouth changes and it also changes the tone of our voice too.

Unfortunately, you won’t receive tone of voice or body language by e-mail, although I do appreciate that it’s not always possible to speak to someone face-to-face, by Skype, or on the phone.

The advances in technology have also led to many people becoming too reliant on electronic communication and I feel this has made people more robotic and insular.

Technology will continue to play a bigger role in the future, but certainly in business, there will always be the need for people to provide the “personal touch” to develop excellent working relationships. High-touch, high-profile customers and customers who have high-value goods being shipped (as they do in my industry), will always demand this, so it is vital that companies invest in people in the future as much as they do in technology.

Written by Gareth Fosberry.

6 types of people you should avoid dating | #dating #onlinedating #datingapp #datingapps #datingtips #datingadvice

The world of Dating can be a minefield, but more than often, it’s a fun and rewarding experience. However, it can also be a very precarious experience, as you never know who you’re going to end up meeting, even if you might think you do.

Someone may seem normal and fun online, but can turn out to be the polar opposite when you meet them in person. Chemistry may be there online, then you find you have nothing in common or the conversation is non-existent when you’re actually sat with each other on a first date.

Dating apps are rife with toxic people. There are many false people out there and many people who pretend to be someone that they’re not.. Abusive and dangerous people can pretend to be everything their victims are looking for, only for their mask to slip as soon as they have control.

According to therapist Marisa Peer, there are six types of toxic people which you should steer clear of when looking for a relationship.

The first is a “narcissist”, who is a self-obssessed person that can’t love anybody else. They have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for excessive attention.

The second is someone who is “paranoid”. This person usually finds it hard to relax and is jealous and controlling. They usually think that everyone is against them or that their partner is cheating on them.

The third is the “controlling and jealous type”. This person won’t usually trust you and will hold you responsible for everything.

The fourth type of person to avoid is the “selfish and self-absorbed” type. Their way is always the right way and they lack empathy or emotion.

The fifth type is an “alcoholic” or in fact, anyone who has a drug or gambling addiction. This type will not love themselves and are often dishonest and will put their addiction first. Their personality will change regularly and they will have regular mood swings.

The final type of person to avoid is a person who has a “toxic relationship with an ex or with a family member”. Holding a grudge can make you bitter and can consume you. It’s likely that this person will show an inability to be accountable for their own actions. A toxic relationship in this sense could be a highly erratic one, or an unhealthy attachment.

For more Dating Tips and Dating Advice, you can read my book, Love At First Swipe, which is a comprehensive guide to modern online dating.

6 First Date Conversation Tips | #datingadvice #datingtips #datingprofile #firstimpressions #firstdates #firstdate #onlinedating #dating #loveatfirstswipe

6 First Date Conversation Tips:

Setting up your online dating profile, finding the right photos to upload which show you in a good light, writing a bio, these can all be difficult to do and take time to get right. It’s a bit like preparing for a job interview, except that you’re preparing to meet people to date and in most cases, to hopefully find the man or woman of your dreams.

However, often the hardest – and certainly most nerve-wracking part of dating – can be the first time you meet someone face-to-face. Chemistry is important of course, but getting the conversation right is just as important.

Nerves can often take over and can even overwhelm some people. There will always be nerves before the first time you meet someone new and you can become more shy than normal, or you could go the other way and become too much of a chatterbox.

People can appear robotic in questions they ask and in what they say about themselves.

There are many topics to avoid talking about on a first date, but equally, it’s important to ask questions, be a good listener and be yourself. Here are my top ten conversation tips on a first date:

1) Ask plenty of “Questions” – Your conversation should be flowing. It’s very important to ask your date questions and not just talk about yourself. If you do this, you will seem interested in them and keen to know more about them. If you don’t ask questions, you will come across as being self-absorbed, uninterested and rude.

2) Ask your date about their “Favourites” – This is a good way to show your date that you are interested in their life and it will also make the conversation fun as well. It could be anything from their favourite food or cocktail to their favourite film, sport, book or holiday destination. If you both have the same “favourite” and have certain things in common, it will prolong your conversation and could even lead to an idea for a second date.

3) Don’t talk about “Politics” or “Religion” – There is an old saying about topics that you should avoid discussing at a dinner table, but the same holds true for a first date. There are plenty of other things to be talking about on a first date and most people don’t want to go “too deep” in conversation on a first date, especially on topics in which they might have strong beliefs and opinions about. These topics may be important to you, but wait a while before talking about these topics in great detail.

4) Avoid the “Ex” conversation – Of course, everyone has a past and most people will have at least one “Ex”. Your date knows you have a past, but they usually don’t want to hear about them at this stage. Keep away from the “Ex” conversation until you know each other better. It will inevitably come up in conversation in time, but as a general rule, it’s best to stay away from the subject altogether on a first date if you can. It can make things feel awkward between you. If your date brings up the subject, it’s best to try and keep answers short (without appearing suspicious). If needed, reassure your date that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know them instead. If your date frequently talks about an “Ex”, it’s likely they’re on the rebound and haven’t got over a recent split.

5) Have some “Fun!” – It’s essential on your first date to try and avoid any negative, in-depth conversations, such as why you don’t enjoy your job, any bad dating experiences you’ve had, money problems, or any other issues you might have been having. Keep the conversation light-hearted and talk about fun experiences you’ve had. Try and sprinkle some humour into your conversation as well. Both women and men want someone who can make them laugh and someone who has a good sense of humour. You do have to be serious at times, but in the early stages of dating, don’t forget to have some fun!

6) Don’t “Lie!” – It is important not to lie to your date. It’s not a good way to start a relationship and it’s not nice to be lied to. When people want to be liked, they can lie about the truth to appear more authentic to their date. A date is actually a meeting where your aim is to find out more about the person you’re interested in, so in what way does a lie favour you in doing that? Just remember that the truth will always come out in the end and that there’s never a happy ending when someone lies.

I hope you find these tips helpful. To read more tips and advice about dating, you can purchase my book, Love At First Swipe, from Amazon and from all other leading stockists.

Ready to date again or are you “On the Rebound”? | #dating #onlinedating #datingadvice #datingtips #loveatfirstswipe #ontherebound

It normally takes a while to form a new relationship after breaking up with someone that you loved or had strong feelings for, but a “rebound relationship” happens fairly quickly.

A rebound relationship usually occurs when you’ve broken up with someone and have entered into a new relationship with someone else almost immediately. It often occurs when you’re feeling isolated, hurt, lonely and desperate.

Everyone has a different defence mechanism and a different way of dealing with a tough break up. Some people shed tears and don’t want to meet anyone new for a long time afterwards. Some choose the alternative, which is an instant healing process, where they look to meet someone new almost immediately.

If you find yourself in such a situation, you may feel that you have to prove to yourself that someone out there wants you again and getting an ego-boost is often a short-term remedy to hiding the hurt you are really feeling.

Sometimes, people will use an online dating app or go to a bar looking for casual fun, as they hope that will take away the pain and hurt in which they are suffering.

Often, people use a new aquaintance to make them feel better about themselves, as their feelings are a mixture of anger and hurt, but if you genuinely want to get to know someone new, then it’s OK to start dating again.

In my opinion, if a relationship ended on good terms and was a mutual decision, entering into a new relationship can still be classed as a rebound relationship because one of you, or both of you, may not want to enter into anything serious again so soon after a break up which might have been on the cards for a while.
If you were the one who ended a relationship, the rebound is more likely to work. However, if you were the person who was hurt, this may affect your self-image, which will make you more emotionally unstable.

A rebound relationship can occur whether you’ve been with someone for 1 year or for 21 years. Obviously, the longer you’ve been with someone, the more history and memories you will have with your “ex”, so this often makes it harder to move on, as you simply can’t forget, especially if you loved someone – and may still do. If you had children with your “ex”, this can make it even harder to move on.

Statistics tell us that a rebound relationship lasts around 6-8 weeks on average. The main reason for a rebound relationship ending (90% of all rebound relationships end) is because they often occur after a romantic relationship has ended and there are still lingering feelings that one person may have for their ex-partner.

Here are Six common signs of a rebound relationship:

1) A new relationship begins soon after a break-up

2) You start seeing someone to make your “ex” jealous

3) You become involved with someone casually

4) You feel bitter in a new relationship

5) You talk about your “ex” regularly

6) You avoid any talk whatsoever about your “ex”

The dating world is full of people whose feelings are confused and there are many people who are on the rebound, sometimes not even realising they are. Unfortunately, being on the rebound can lead to people not telling the complete truth in order so they get what they want, but some of the tell-tale signs are that they talk about their “ex” a lot, that they want sex with you very quickly, or that they often ignore messages you send them and reply to you in their own time, without much feeling to their messages.

On the flip side, the person on the rebound may also be exploited as well, as they are more vulnerable and at a higher risk of being manipulated and exploited. Trust can also be a problem, as you may find it hard to trust someone again.

For a relationship to be a healthy and happy one, it’s usually best to wait a while until you start dating again, as your feelings will be all over the place after a hard break-up and it’s likely you won’t be in a good place straight after.

Having said that, a study was carried out by researchers at Queens College and the university of Illinois in 2014. Their research revealed that rebound relationships help the recently broken-hearted to move on and heal more quickly than ex-partners who deal with the break-up by not dating again for some time.

Safety Fears for online daters as number of catfish treble in a decade | #catfish #romancescam #datingscam #onlinedating #datingadvice #datingtips #datingapp #writingcommunity #iamwriting

In my Exclusive News Story about safety fears for online daters, the article talks about how the number of trolls, perverts and scammers on internet dating sites and apps has allegedly trebled within nearly a decade, sparking fears and concerns for online safety and leading to calls for tighter regulation.

The platforms see approximately three times as many “sinister, exploitative individuals” as there were before their popularity exploded in the early 2000’s.

Singletons looking for love and romance must now contend with more “huddled, fraudsters and worse” than ever, putting innocent members – and especially first-time users – at risk.

The Federal Trade Commission in the US also issued a warning to consumers in July 2018, about an increase in online romance scams, where known cases in the US tripled between 2012 and 2016.

It’s often difficult to spot a romance scammer and can be hard for dating apps to stop them setting up an online dating profile, as they tend to be very clever and very manipulative, but there are precautions that you can take and signs that you can look out for.

For example, spelling mistakes and the use of bad grammar; the lack of photos posted; only one photo posted – but it’s usually of someone who looks absolutely stunning (they often use photos taken from modelling sites and magazines); someone who contacts you from another country; someone who refuses to talk to you on the phone or by Skype; someone who always makes an excuse not to meet up; someone who asks you for money; – it’s basically a grooming process and the scammer will ask you for money in the name of love. They prey on people’s loneliness, desperation and weaknesses

The alarm bells in your head should also start ringing if other users of Online Dating sites and apps want to swap phone numbers straight away, or want to meet up with you almost immediately. Tread carefully and don’t swap numbers with someone immediately. If they’re not after a quick bunk-up, they could be scammers who will lie to you with the aim of stealing your hard earned cash. Never give out your financial details to anyone, or tell someone where you live. They may also be lying to you about their relationship status, as it could be that they’re married and are only looking for sex.

They could also be a very dangerous individual who is looking to cause you harm. The number of sex attacks involving dating apps is on the rise and this is where I believe dating apps should be doing more to help protect their users.

Worryingly, the number of sex attacks reported is likely to be a lot higher. Some attacks are not reported due to sheer fear, or the shame and humiliation that people often feel in such a situation. Often, victims of a sexual assault will blame themselves and people will often be angry with themselves, feeling they lost control of the situation. People will often meet someone online without telling anyone, as many people still have a stigma against online dating. If you’re a woman especially, let someone know where you’re going on a date. Nowadays, you can also put a GPS tracker on your phone and link it to a friend’s phone so they can see where you are at any time.

You can read my Exclusive News Story here which looks at what dating apps could be doing better to help prevent scammers from contacting you.

My new book, Love at First Swipe, also provides sound advice on how you can spot a romance scammer. It’s available now on Amazon UK priced £8.99 in paperback and £3.99 as an eBook.

You can also visit my website for more dating news and advice:

The 7 Deadly Sins of Online Dating – What NOT to do on a Date | #datingadvice #datingtips #onlinedating #loveatfirstswipe #love #relationship #dating #datingprofile

Dating can be hard and everyone has nerves on a first date, no matter who you are, but you should also feel excitement too. It’s important to make a good first impression.

You only get one chance to make a good first impression. Not only will you be judged on your appearance, but also on your attitude and personality as well. You should feel excitement at the prospect of meeting your date for the first time. At the same time, feeling nervous too is perfectly normal, as both of these feelings go hand-in-hand.

You need to get the first date basics right so here are “7 Deadly Sins of Online Dating” – things you should avoid on a date. If you manage to avoid these “7 Dating DONT’S”, you’ll have a greater chance of success:

1) DON’T be Late!:

The first deadly sin is to not be late! Punctuality is so important, especially on the first date. If you show up late, the first message you give out to your date is that you don’t care. Leave your home earlier than usual which will reduce your chances of a late arrival. If you’re late, it will tell your date that you’re unable to manage your time properly.

2) Be Confident but DON’T be Arrogant:

A man or woman with confidence can be a very attractive trait. Most people see confidence as an important factor when it comes to choosing a partner. Even if you’re a little shy, you can practice beforehand by talking to someone you know. Of course, the more dates you go on, the more experience you gain and the more confident you should naturally become. Plan what you’re going to talk about on your date, including subjects that you’re enthusiastic about, such as any hobbies you have or sports you participate in.

You should find out as much information as you can about your date before you meet them face to face, as it’s even better if you have mutual interests that you can talk about. Many people are shy and worry terribly about their appearance. It’s more attractive if your date sees that you’re comfortable in your own skin and are happy being you.

There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance though. The last thing your date wants to hear is you bragging and talking about yourself all night! Try to keep the conversation flowing, but make sure you ask questions and also compliment your date as well.

3) DON’T talk about your ‘Exes’:

Most of us have a history of exes. We’ve all had personal issues and relationship problems that we’ve had to deal with in the past, but it’s best to never admit anything to a new acquanintence and potential lover on the first date. Your date knows you have a past, but they usually don’t want to hear about it. Keep away from the “ex” conversation until you know each other better, as this will inevitably come up in conversation in time. As a general rule, it’s best to stay away from the conversation altogether on a first date if you can.

Your date does not usually want to hear about your ex and it can make things feel awkward between you. If your date does bring up the subject, it’s best to try and keep answers short (without appearing suspicious). If needed, reassure your date that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know them instead. If your date talks a lot about an ex, it’s likely they’re on the rebound and haven’t got over a recent split. This is not a good sign! It’s usually best to avoid dating someone who has only recently come out of a long term relationship as their head may be all over the place and their feelings could still be very raw.

4) Turn OFF your Phone:

It’s annoying and irritating if a phone starts ringing in the middle of your date and it’s rude if you answer it in front of the person you are with. There may be a genuine reason to have your phone switched on, but at least make sure you have it on silent or on vibrate. If you need to check it, you should always do this when you go to the bar or go for a comfort break. If you check it in front of your date, it says to them that you’re not interested and that you’re not focusing entirely on your date. It would be very rude and disrespectful. They will appreciate it more if you take the time to engage with them fully.

5) Have GOOD Hygiene:

One absolute must is to practice good hygiene. Whilst looks aren’t everything, both men and women are often impressed by a person who appears to take pride in their appearance and by someone who looks after themselves. Make sure you are clean, that you wear your favourite clothes or outfit (but don’t look scruffy) and that your clothes are clean too. Splash on your favourite perfume or aftershave and brush your teeth. The above all might sound obvious, but believe me, not everyone takes care in the hygiene department or takes pride in how they look and smell. There is nothing more off-putting than being with someone with bad hygiene!

6) DON’T have Bad Body Language:

According to Elle magazine, research shows that 70 to 90 percent of our communication is nonverbal. Most gestures mean something, so showing your date that you’re comfortable spending time with them is important. Smiling often, maintaining good posture (dont slouch!), making good eye contact with your date and keeping your body relaxed are all important factors when you’re on a date.

7) Be Kind and DON’T be Rude!:

Be kind to your date and don’t treat them badly. Try not to swear, be polite and have good manners. If you’re a man, open the door for the lady and let her choose where she wants to sit. Whether you end up liking each other or not, you’ve both invested a lot of time and energy into preparing for your date, so don’t be rude and don’t disappear on them suddenly.

L♥️ve At First Swipe – Social Media Links | #onlinedating #datingadvice #loveatfirstswipe #love #relationship

Around one in four of us are now finding love online and this figure will only increase over the next few years.

The stigma that was once attached to Online Dating has well and truly disappeared. We now live in the internet age, where social media is king.

My new book, Love At First Swipe, is a comprehensive guide to modern online dating, which is aimed at people of all ages, genders, orientations and abilities.

To read more, please click on my following social media links:


Facebook Author Page:

Facebook Book Page:





Versatile Blogger Award | #versatilebloggeraward #blog #blogger #loveatfirstswipe #iamwriting #writingcommunity #bloggerstribe #amwriting

Hi everyone! The awesome @I_am_Sheqo has nominated me for the “Versatile Blogger Award”! I am honoured and incredibly grateful to get this recognition and it means so much to me! Check out their page here –


1. Thank the blogger for nominating you and link to their blog. ✔

2. Write a blog post on your website showing the award. ✔

3. Describe the story of why you started your blog. ✔

4. Write two pieces of advice you have for new bloggers. ✔

5. Nominate 15 more bloggers. ✔

6. Notify each of your nominees that you have nominated them. ✔

Why I started my blog?

I started my blog because of my great passion for writing and because I wanted to help people. I mainly blog about love and dating related topics.

Blogging gives me an excuse to express my views and talk about topics which I feel people are interested in and should know more about.

It’s amazing how much satisfaction you get from sharing your views with the world. I would definitely recommend that you start blogging if you haven’t done so already.

I started my blog around the same time that I was writing my debut book, Love At First Swipe. Finding love is the most amazing feeling in the world and I wanted to try and help people in their search for love.

2 pieces of advice for new bloggers

1. Make sure you have a clear idea of what your subject matter is – your niche – and have a clear plan about what you’re going to write about, before you start your blog!

2. Write with freedom and make sure the content is of high quality. It doesn’t matter how long or short your post is as long as you’ve put 100% into it! Read through what you’ve written several times before you press the ‘publish’ button, then sit back and watch the number of followers, comments and likes build up!

My nominations are:

1. Juelook

Her blog is amazing and talks about beauty, fashion and shopping topics in great detail.

2. QueenOfTheGirlGeeks

She is a beauty blogger and her amazing blog looks at beauty products.

3. Kalpana Govi

This great blog looks at how to save money better and provides money tips on how to lead a rich life.

4. Shenzy Paradise

A colourful and beautiful blog which exudes feeling, emotion and poetry.

5. Read to Survive

An awesome book blogger who writes about anything and everything to do with books.

6. Savana Rae

An amazing beauty and lifestyle blog with great attention to detail.

7. Little Catch Up

A lifestyle and wellbeing blog, this great blog also specialises in website building with expert content and SEO writing.

8. Lea Bella blogs

An awesome travel and lifestyle blog with great content throughout.

9. Rachel Teodoro

A really informative blog about “real people, real projects, real life”, such as finances, travel and DiY.

10. Katherine

An amazing blog from a lifestyle blogger, all about “the life of a do it all from home Mama”, covering everything a Mum needs to know – from potty training to teething.

11. Our Favourite Jar

A beautiful personal blog which covers many topics ranging from parenting to places Claire has visited.

12. A Brewed Awakening

An awesome “mummy blog” providing great advice, opinions and reviews.

13. Some Kind of 50

A positivity blogger and mental health advocate, this is one amazing blog!

14. Live Life Liberated

A mental health advocate, this great blog discusses many different aspects and perspectives of life.

15. Currently, Lately

A beauty and lifestyle blog with great information provided – including help with blogging.

Thanks again for the nomination! I hope you enjoyed my post on this great award!

– Gareth / Love At First Swipe

Should you have sex on the first date? | #onlinedating #datingadvice #datingtips #loveatfirstswipe #datingetiquette #firstdatesex #sex

Nowadays, the unwritten rules of dating etiquette are looser than they have ever been before.

Having said that, the majority of people do not sleep with someone on the first date, in the belief that another person should earn the right to be intimate with them before they share the same bed together.

Some people just go with the flow, some people have a 3-date rule and some have 5-date rule. Some people don’t have sex with another person until they’ve both declared their love for one another. Religion can also determine how soon you have sex with someone.

Online dating has many pitfalls and the person you’ve been chatting to for a while may turn out to be a completely different person in real life when you meet them face-to-face!

There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this question, but as long as sex is consensual and you both want the same thing, there’s nothing wrong with having sex on the first date. If you both want different things, then it’s best to have a discussion together first, but in this particular instance, it’s definitely best not to sleep with the other person on the first date.

Alcohol can also play a big part in any decision you both make, so my advice would be to not drink too much alcohol on a first date, as that can confuse how you think and you might end up doing something that you later regret.

Here are 5 reasons for having sex on a first date and 5 reasons against having sex on the first date:

Reasons FOR having sex on the first date:

1) It’s been so long since the last time you had sex and because you’ve been away from the dating scene for some time, you find the idea of someone coming on to you just too irresistible.

2) The attraction level and chemistry between you both is so strong that you just can’t help yourself. You may have known this person for some time and you may be physically attracted to them if nothing else.

3) Life is short. You want to live on the edge and have as much excitement as you can, while you can. You are not interested in a proper relationship and you are only looking for something casual.

4) You both like each other, so waiting is pointless as you don’t want to waste any time.

5) With the advent of online dating, the dating landscape has changed and you can actually get to know someone really well before meeting them in person for the first time, as opposed to meeting someone in a bar for the first time and not knowing a thing about them.

Reasons AGAINST having sex on the first date:

1) If they’re sleeping with you on the first date, how many other people are they sleeping with?

2) Always practice SAFE SEX! In a heterosexual encounter, the female could become pregnant. Also, either of you could contract an unwanted STI. Wear a condom, take your pills, do whatever you need to do to stay safe. If you’re having sex with someone on the first date, there’s a far greater risk of you contracting an STI.

3) You want to get to know the person better before you decide on becoming so intimate with them. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do, so you don’t want to give them a “freebie” for simply just knowing you. They should have to earn it!

4) You might have sex with someone if you’ve had a few drinks and because you feel it’s the right thing to do if your date wants to do the same. But, your date might feel like they’ve been used if you realise the next day that your feelings aren’t strong enough to want to see them again. Try to have a clear head before sleeping with someone.

5) It’s much better to wait a few dates and get to know someone first. Building up a closer connection with someone before you have sex makes sex so much better when you reach that stage.

Read here about contrasting stories of 14 women who “Get Real About Sex On The First Date”.